Mustache madness

Being deployed makes people do things differently than back in the states.  Some people catch up on reading.  Others learn a new skill or language, or take courses online to get a few credits closer to a degree.  Some people use the 6 months they're away from home to see how big a mustache they can grow.  Many of my co-workers have taken to growing mustaches, and even turned it into a competition.  Months have even been rebranded to accomodate this cause.  January has become Manuary; February has become Stache-uary; March has become Mustache March, and so on and so forth. 

Of course, if you want to be a rebel, there are still rules to be followed.  The Air Force regulations for mustaches state that they may extend up to the edge of your lips and no lower than the corner of your mouth. 

Try to look cool with those rules and we all lose

Which means no handlebars, or any other cool displays of individuality, unlike some other countries, such as the Canadian and New Zealand militaries (I know, I know, haha, the New Zealand Army?  But they DO in fact have a military) which allow their soldiers to grow some fine examples of nose hair gone wild. 

New Zealand's military: spending more on mustache cream than bullets since 1854

The first 2 weeks I was here, I decided to join in, but soon came to my senses and realized that it looked ridiculous.  In my opinion, these are the only men manly enough to pull off a mustache:

Tom Selleck

Daniel Day-Lewis

Genghis Khan

Mark Twain

Friedrich Nietzche

Wyatt Earp.  His mustache is the most famous thing in Tombstone, AZ

Ron Burgundy?

Among the honorable mentions are Borat and Geraldo Rivera

I'm pretty sure Geraldo's mustache is property of Fox News and will be retrieved upon his death


For more information on facial hair, please visit Cracked.com's guide to the modern mustache.  Or continue reading their extensive research on the topic.

EDIT: Apparently all of my follicular-cultivating co-workers came to their senses right before this post was to be published.  My office is now mustache free.