Saturday, March 21, 2015

Personal loans

Lending money has always been a tricky endeavor.  For one thing, you don't know if the person will pay you back, and if they don't, it may strain your relationship.  It's always best to give money to people without the expectation of ever seeing it again.  You'll be happier that way.

A few years ago, in 2011, an acquaintance of mine called me up and asked me to loan him $1,000.  I always try to help people whenever I can, be it helping them move, tutoring them, or giving them money, and since I had a good salary and substantial savings, I agreed immediately.

He said he needed to go to a funeral or something.  I think he was surprised I had agreed so readily, because he then said "Well, actually, can I borrow $1,100?"

"Sure, no problem," I said.

Then he asked me to wire him the money, as he needed it ASAP.  It would have taken a day or two for a check to reach him by mail, as I was in Georgia and he in North Carolina, but whatever.  He needed it now.  So I spent $20 to send it via Western Union.

He swore up and down he'd pay me back, and being the naive person I am, I trusted him.  The first payment of $100 came about 6 weeks later, when he was in town, and I got it without a problem.  After that, I had to send him repeat reminders to get anything.  And it was like pulling teeth.

Now, all this wouldn't have been so bad if he were in a bad financial position.  I've loaned money to people who promised they'd pay me back in 3 months, and it ended up being eight, but I sympathized because they truly didn't have any money.  I've been there, and it sucks.  I totally understand.  Plus, they actually tried to pay me back ASAP.

What bothered me wasn't the fact that this fool had a job that paid well.  Or that it was taking a lot longer than he'd promised.  What bothered the shit out of me (and I'm sure you all can sympathize) is when I'd go on facebook and there would be a post on his wall saying how much fun he was having traveling around, visiting friends, club-hopping, going out to eat or for drinks, or even gloating about a watch he'd just purchased.  Those outings were probably setting him back at least $50 a night.  Fifty motherfucking dollars he could have been using to pay me back.


A few weeks after the first payment, when I still thought he'd be paying me back regularly, he called me and asked if I could co-sign with him on an apartment lease.  I almost would have, too, if I hadn't remembered a conversation I had with someone just a few days prior, in which they told me that they readily give money to friends and family, but will never loan their credit.  I politely refused, and it's a good thing I did, as he ended up losing the apartment.

You may be wondering why I helped him.  I'm naive and very trusting, and I tend to believe people are generally good and will do what they say.

Over the next 18 months, I got back a total of $700, culminating in a phone call in October of 2012 where he asked me how much he still owed me.  I said $400.

Him: "Really?  I thought it was $350"

Me: "No, it's $400"

Plus that 20 I had to spend to send you the money, dipshit
Him: "Are you sure?  I thought it was $350"

Me: "You know what?  If you just send me $200 by November, we can call it good."

Him: "Really?  That's great, thanks so much.  I'll be sure to send it to you.  Thanks, man."

You can probably guess that I received precisely zero dollars the following month.  I never heard from him again, and we are no longer friends.

On the plus side, he'll never ask me for money again.

Yaaay.

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