Though I'm a lonely soul, and February 14th just serves to remind me how no one loves me on any other day of the year, I think holidays are nice, and can help reinforce people's relationships if done right.
As Cracked.com proved, modern-day Valentine's day is a far cry from what it once was, and much like most other holidays, is an excuse for companies to peddle their wares. I mean, what says President's Day better than mattresses and cars?
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| Unless, of course, a life size replica of Mt Rushmore were made out of mattresses and crushed cars |
But I digress. It is what it is, and it's not about to change any time soon, so might as well get with the program. What I find odd, though, even odder than car and mattress companies slashing prices on new rides...
...is that ad for giant teddy bears you may have seen recently. The basic premise is that flowers and chocolates are, like, super unoriginal, and your girl will react to those gifts of affection by transferring the roses to the trash can and dumping perfectly good box of chocolate on the floor because of how disgustingly thoughtless you are. But hold the phone! I know it's last minute and you've been racking your brain for something thoughtful, so we have just the thing! Get her a fucking six foot teddy bear! She'll be so ecstatic that she's gonna forget all about you and snuggle up on the couch with that monstrosity as if it just gave her the best sex of her life.
That ad is stupid, to say the least. Chocolates and flowers may be unoriginal, but they're time-tested. Teddy bears? What am I, six?
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| Unlike this one, the bear in that ad doesn't even have a smile on its face. It just stares off into the distance with cold, unfeeling eyes |
Anyway, Valentines Day is what you make of it. I think Mallory has the right idea:
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