Adventures in maturity

A few years ago I realized that if I ever wanted to get ahead in life, I'd have to dress the part, and that ratty T-shirts with pithy quotes like "Boobies make me smile" and "I sell crack for the CIA" were no longer considered haute couture. 

"This is totally going to be me in 10 years.  These shirts are funny now and they're gonna be awesome then"
- Me at 18

So in the interest of dressing the part of the responsible adult who is cultured enough to know how to pay taxes and not confuse the salad fork with the cake fork if the occasion called for it, I decided I would get a suit sometime in the near future.  I'd be all classy and smooth and stuff.

Pictured: classy as balls

Then I started watching How I Met your Mother, and Barney's philosophy on life pretty much clinched it:

Suit up!

Well, I have yet to take that step, but yesterday, as I accompanied a friend to the mall for some shopping therapy, we happened upon the watch counter at Dillards.  I have a fuzzy memory of me looking at fancy watches behind a counter made of bulletproof glass back in the day and thinking that some of them looked pretty sharp while others seemed reserved for the old and the uncool, or people whose fashion sense was indirectly proportional to the amount of money they earned via less than reputable methods.

Derek arranged his entire collection of 'bling' around his neck in preparation for his daily stroll.  He paused for a moment, then grinned sheepishly, two fingers extended in the universal sign for 'poor fiscal responsibility'

The most expensive watch I've ever owned was a digital Casio which cost a whopping $15.  As I looked around the store, a couple of watches caught my eye due to their brilliance.  People are like fish, in that we're social creatures, and also that we're attracted to shiny things, and I'm no exception.  One watch in particular, cradled carefully between the plump fingers of the overweight salesman, whose knuckle hair curled ever so softly around the garish wedding band he was sporting, caught my eye.  It blinged extra hard at me, and I was sold.  It was an Emporio Armani (which I was assured was a snazzy brand) and cost $250, but considering a man in a nice suit with a $10 watch will always be missing something, I figured it would be an investment, and plunked down the money.  I also ended up getting a more practical everyday Fossil watch, which was a cheaper (but still fairly costly) $125.  Hopefully these two will suit my watch needs for any occasion for years to come.

The suaveness oozing out of the Armani isn't properly captured in this photo

In closing, I'd like to leave you with another T-shirt for old time's sake.  This picture and the one at the beginning of the article are screencaps from the 2007 movie "Ten Inch Hero."  I highly recommend it.